I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
