Got a toothbrush?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
