Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
