***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
