when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
