I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
