He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize