you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
