pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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