Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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