ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
