why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
