Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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