this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
