I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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