Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i dont even know how to be here
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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