11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
