New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
