I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
