it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
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