I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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