My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
