i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
