It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
