He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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