dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
