he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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