I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
