awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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