i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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