He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
