If i come over, it means nothing
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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