I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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