This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
