How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
