i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
