Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
