thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
