Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
