I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
