Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
