trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Come share oat with me in your robe
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize