Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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