Your face is a jimmy john
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
