K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
