Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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