I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
