I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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