That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
