But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
