break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
