Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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