Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
