This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
