your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
