i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
