Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize