Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's blow job season.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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