The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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