oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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