you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize