Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
