I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
