And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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