my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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