We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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