I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
