Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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