I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
