hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
