That's when you crack a 10am beer
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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