I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
