I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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