Joe is yelling at the trees again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
