I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
