Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
