thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
