We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
