isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
