how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
