But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
