I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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