yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The air was thick with penises
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
